The Shit Fish

Yes, Christmas is coming and a new year approaches, but I want to talk about Shit Fish.

This morning I imagined myself as a fairly capable Fisher woman, throwing out a strong net and casting it wide. In real life I have no such desire, but this was a mythical, magical moment in which I was a cross between one of those guys on The Deadliest Catch (never watched a whole episode but I get the gist) and Aphrodite. 

In my Fisher Goddess strength, I haul up a massive catch. There are a lot of fish, and some of them are Shit Fish. Shit Fish are the ones that you can't stomach - they might be poisonous or simply not to one's taste. At first, some Shit Fish might look pretty good and have other talents beyond being fit for the menu. Since I'm a Fisher Woman in this scenario, a fast talking or pretty Shit Fish might be interesting, but if it starts spewing shit all over me, it's not a fish that gets to stay on my boat. 

There is no need to be unkind to a Shit Fish. Be gentle as is possible; you too may have had a turn at being a Shit Fish. Have I ever been a Shit Fish? I'm sure there are those who would say so. I can't be right about everything!

For the purpose of this piece I'm continuing on a theme in regards to well-meaning spiritually-minded people immediately blaming your subconscious every time you end up being treated badly by someone else. "What did YOU do to attract that?". There is some truth to it of course - but transformation is like a woman casting out a strong golden net in a wild sea and then acting surprised when creatures from the depths come calling.

Some people may fish right next to a sewer and wonder why they only ever seem to get Shit Fish. They spot the most dangerous fish in the tank and think it's love at first sight. Others may have a very small net in a pristine lagoon. You probably don't catch many mermaids with a small net, but if you bagged a seahorse or two then you might be pretty content. I'm not saying I want to eat mermaids or seahorses so I think my metaphorical catches are getting a bit silly.

The point is that I have a big net because I'm open. For many years, I blamed myself when a big old Shit Fish would start spewing on me. I'd be like 'oh, what did I do wrong dear little Fish, how can I help you?'. Of course, it isn't always obvious which kind of fish you have in your net. Sometimes a Shit Fish starts off as a Love Fish, but maybe it ends up stuck in a sewage outlet for too long and gets sick. You do all you can for a sick Love Fish, but in the end, some of them may not appreciate what you offer and end up choosing the sewage. 

It's said that you can lead a horse to water and it may not drink, and something similar can be said of a Sick Fish. They might blame you for all the shit they were eating and then start vomiting it up on you. Sad as it may be to see a beautiful fish snacking on shit, you can't keep eating pooh in order to make it feel better. You have to choose the clean water.

With mental health issues being what they are, I was considering the balance between helping others and keeping yourself healthy. It's great to have an open net, but if you overload it with sick and shit filled fish, you may struggle to keep the boat afloat. That fish might not end up in the right river or part of the sea that suits it best - perhaps letting go with kindness will do the Shit Fish a favour too? 

Dr Gabor Mate talks about how we glorify the kind of giving that kills us. He shares this on some great talks via Youtube and they're worth checking out. https://youtu.be/c6IL8WVyMMs

He argues that many conditions are strongly affected by stress and thinks we need to take much better care of ourselves. Many 'givers' do not ask for help and do not allow themselves to express 'negative' emotions. 

What you define as a Shit Fish is personal to you. I don't enjoy nastiness or excessive bitchy sarcasm, so that kind of fish won't get to stay in my net for long. It might be delightful for someone else, after all, some people want to eat those Puffer Fish and risk death. Chefs have to train for three years in order to remove the deadly tetrodotoxin (poison) from the Puffer fish. If you have that kind of training, then sure, enjoy.

If you have a wide net then you are going to catch a lot of interesting things in it - so don't let anyone lay that law of attraction line on you in a negative way. Unless you're fishing in a sewer. You don't always know it when you're standing in it. The clue might be that all you EVER catch is Shit.

If, on the other hand, you cast your net wide in the shining sea or a crystal clear lake and embrace all that life offers, your experiences will be broad. Your child hood, the stories of sorrow, the difficulties, these shape us to a point. Then after that, we haul up the net and take responsibility for what we choose to carry and the story we tell.

Good luck duck!

Be kind, be mindful, put your own health first. Oh, and Merry fucking Christmas darlings!

Love Cxxx