Money, Internet, Clutter and Hope.

September 20th 2017

I can see the light.

Social and Money Saving Experiment:

Ryan and Joshua of 'The Minimalists' went internet-free (so sexy, so inspiring!). I thought it sounded about as convenient as living in a tent to save on rent (something I've considered!). Since then, my through-the-wall neighbour has moved and I no longer share a net connection with him and the entity known as my land lord is putting the rent up by $30 extra dollars a week. It must surely be to line the massive hole in his heart - his bank account is full of rental property income (eight of them).

The No Internet Challenge: 

Go without a home connection for one month (minimum) and see how it affects my life in terms of 

1) Planning and Productivity 

2) Social interactions

3) Savings

4) Creativity

5) Extra activity (such as exercise, getting housework done).

So it's been two weeks without casual Facebook trawling or Netflix, two weeks in which I use the very limited data on my pre-pay phone to check essential emails or banking if I can't get to the library or a cafe with wi-fi.

My first visit to a local library with my laptop in hand was at around 5.15pm on a Monday.  I took a list of what I most needed to do and almost succeeded. The thing with being in a public space is that unexpected and beautiful things can happen. A little boy, around five years old, approached me and showed me the game he was playing on some kind of device. He was picking his nose and I politely asked him to refrain. He replied that his sister liked to eat hers and so I figured that I should just be grateful that he wasn't following suit.

His name was Tua, like the fighter. He looked at me with those black-brown eyes, long lashes and said  he didn't have any friends. I said that I knew what that felt like and it sometimes takes awhile before you find people who understand you. Even that can change. He told me about his family, sang a song about Jesus, and said his Aunty has a girlfriend and waited to see how I reacted.

"She's a girl" he said "and she loves a girl!"

"Well love is love isn't it?" I said, "it doesn't matter if you're a girl or a boy, I think that's what Jesus would say" (that Jesus was such an upstart, let's face it).

By the time he left (his mother wasn't far off) his parting question was

"Do you think I'm a good friend?"

"Yes," I said "I think you're lovely and are a good friend". He automatically reached up for a hug. I totally forgot about being a stranger with a child and picked him up and hugged him. I then went over and said hi to his mum, but she didn't seem to speak English, was heavily pregnant and closing time at the library was upon us.

As I write this, I can see a monarch butterfly on a large swan plant outside and a variety of non-native birds are digging their keen little beaks into a patch of grass. 

Outcome so far:

1)Planning and Productivity: In the future, find a table that wasn't near any children as I have no barriers to their charms, no matter how snotty the nose. They also have a magical radar that picks this up about me. Apart from that, making a list of what I wanted to accomplish went well.

2) Social Interactions: If I do allow for these to happen as part of the delightful journey, then my first library internet session was GOLD. Part of not sitting at home to use the net is enjoying being in the community.

3) Savings: Yes, if I go to the library for most visits then I would save money. 

Possible problem: If I use it as an excuse to go to a cafe and buy coffee then the money saved might well end up not actually being saved at all. In the last two weeks I have specifically used cafe Wifi only twice (Salvation Kitchen Cafe in Avondale has amazing coffee) - so I'm still winning. If I went to a cafe to use Wifi everyday, then I may as well have the internet at home.

4) Creativity: I am a creative beast, and I'm f*cking starving! This blog is one of the main ways to satisfy the desire to create, research, experiment and share as I haven't been doing much in the way of drawing, painting, poetry or song. By the end of October I hope that the song and painting part of creativity is a bigger part of my life again.

5) Extra Activity: This could be anything from regular housework to dancing around each evening whilst listening to the music that's trapped inside my ipod from 2010. I currently read more than ever before and go to bed earlier since I haven't got Youtube or Netflix to get lost in. 

A Good Thing?

My mum has a roof over her head without having to use emergency housing. She didn't want to use the emergency housing assistance if possible as she would have been placed far away from me and all that is familiar. The place she will be living in is a very small studio space which means she has to put everything expect the essentials into storage. This has been a massive wake-up call for me - and perhaps it can also be one for you. What I am very impressed with is that mum is doing her best to see all that is good in the situation. Her new landlords are very kind and friendly, and her outlook is straight into native bush.

What is your old age going to look like?

Last week I met an elderly couple and was with them for the afternoon in order to see if I might be a suitable person to do some care work for them. I'll call them Mr and Mrs Booklove. They have a lovely home in a wealthy suburb and yet Parkinson's disease dictates much of life's quality. Mrs Booklove is increasingly trapped in her body, her mind still sharp and capable. Her life is reduced to a chair, a pile of books and the company of her funny and loving husband. Her daughter (who does not live in New Zealand) sends a bouquet of fresh flowers every week, and a nurse turns up every morning to bathe her. Their son is a busy man and doesn't see them very often. These grown up children are very successful.

If ever your life is reduced to a chair and the care of strangers, what story will you tell yourself? 

I read her a poem by Charles Causley - Mary, Mary Magdalene - from a book in her collection. She came alive and I saw the beauty in her face, the slight smile on her lips, and halfway through there were tears in her eyes. I become a little emotional myself and later wondered how I could build better emotional barriers. Wait, that's not the right word is it? No one ever says "you have to build barriers", they say "you need boundaries". 

I've never been too good with boundaries. It's made for some strange and poor choices, that is certain. It's also made for a life in which children reach out to me, where I can connect with a woman trapped in her body with the words of a poem. 

What's Next?

The De-Cluttering Continues!

In helping mum to move, I've shed more tears than I could possibly measure and had one massive tantrum. Fortunately mum has forgiven the tantrum and is also starting to truly let go. It's a little late in the piece, but hey, I'll take it.

As for me, I've decided that some aspects of my own material tastes are changing. Yes, I still love all my little weird things, but how many of them do I need? None is the obvious answer, but I'm not Ryan or Josh from of The Minimalists, I still want my Buddha surrounded by crystals and my Jesus who hangs on the kitchen wall next to a metallic, rose coloured flying pig.

May your day have some peace in it. May children reach up to you, and old people reveal the beauty of their youth in your presence.