I Love this woman's humour and the way she has shared her journey. If you haven't read her books, then DO IT. She is also on audio book if you find it difficult to read.
I found 'Furiously Happy' in the library, but her first book was 'Let's Pretend This Never Happened'. I liked the second one more than the first!
As Jenny says 'depression lies'. It's good to remember that. When the thoughts are so heavy, say it out loud 'depression lies!' and connect with someone who can help you get perspective.
I love how she is truly 'out' about mental illness, managing self harm, her gratitude for medications and the warning that you need to keep an eye on that in case the wrong mix triggers suicidal thoughts.
It was Friday when I found out about Q taking his life. It was Saturday when I wrote 'Stay For The Picnic' and so many of you read it. Did it resonate? Well fuckadoodle doo, because I'm going to have so many picnics that you'll mistake me for treat and call me a cupcake.
I am going to live and live and live. Tonight I put on a crisp white shirt with an unusually starchy collar, and over that I wore a sweatshirt and baggy track pants. I put on my sandal things that tourists wear and at 11pm I went for a short bike ride in the dark on my electric bike. It's the kind of thing I think of doing sometimes, but this time I just did it.
The white shirt felt good and clean against my slightly sunburned skin and the air was so cool. Stars were shining. I said 'did you like that Q?' and he laughed. He would have liked an electric bike. It's such a good thing for people (like me, like him) who have got chronic pain due to old injuries.
It's the 21st of November in New Zealand, so we're a little bit ahead of the World. Head's up. Here comes your life. Will you ride a bike at night? Will you swim and sing, invite the spirit of dead loved ones to join you? Will you join me in Living?
Can you ask the Good Questions?
Why am I so lovable?
Why is my mental illness a gift?
Why do I know it's good to be here?
Why did I find ways to love being alive?
Why did I find it easy to let go of negative self talk?
Why do I feel so good about who I am?
Check out Noah St John's book called 'Afformations'. They have been changing my life.
My chest feels so warm, my heart is overflowing with gratitude.
I wrote and shared 'Stay for The Picnic: The Suicide of a friend' on Saturday and today, only three days later, it has had more than 6000 views. That means one of you will stay. That means one of you might even be the one to plan the picnic for someone else. That means one of you will save up and get an electric bike because you have a bung hip and it's been so depressing ...but now you can just zoom up the hills like a damn bike ninja! Go on you good thing. You can do it. We can all be kinder, invent occasions to connect and be child like in our wonder.
Do you know what's happening to me? This has done something to me I could not predict. Fear is flying away from me. I can talk to anyone. I have looked openly at men I find attractive because I'm not afraid of rejection. When the worst thing has already happened, embarrassment or self-consciousness seems a bit of a waste of energy. Fear must fly away in the face of love so deep that it can't be destroyed.
What is the good question you can ask yourself today or before you sleep tonight?
Love Cxxx
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