Friendship, The Body and Floods!

April 5th 2017: 

It's been raining almost constantly. Currently I'm considering how to 

1) Honour my body

2) How to be loving and graceful in friendships past and present (even if a friendship ends it doesn't mean it wasn't beautiful).

First, reporting back with my last mini-adventure! 

Pre-flooded Te Auaunga, notice the size of the people in relation to waterfall.

The Hotpools:  Last weekend The Bearded One (a lovely new friend) and I set out to Miranda Hotpools with a free range, pre-cooked supermarket chicken, a bottle of wine, some harvarti cheese and a shlub of lettuce that had seen better days. There were inevitable traffic delays. We then dallied, we dawdled, we stopped and picnicked just out of Kawakawa bay, taking the longest route. By the time we got to the hotpools they were due to close in an hour, but we still enjoyed the soak. On the way home we stopped, climbed onto the bonnet of my car and lay there looking at the incredible multitude of stars, the misty mystery of the milky way. 

Flooded Te Auaunga 2017

What made this mini-adventure so successful was not just going somewhere nice and having food to eat. It was doing these things with someone who has room to get lost, to take the long way there, to agree on looking at the stars in the middle of the country side. Being with a fellow adventurer feels like such a great privilege - it's so refreshing to not have to convince someone to do something and to go a little off course. Taking time to look at the stars might just be a tonic we could prescribe for ourselves in times of stress, boredom, pain or sorrow.

If you can't see the stars, then a walk in the rain might be the mini-adventure for you (if it's safe!). In New Zealand right now, we are having some pretty wild weather. There have been floods all through the country and now another storm is upon us. A few weeks ago, I was amazed to see Te Auaunga (Oakely Creek) flooded  to the point that a guy was kayaking over it! The following day it was too wild for such a feat, it was a churning couldron, it really did look like the water was boiling.

Te Auaunga flooded in March 2017

I'm sure it's going to be pretty soggy and disastrous around the country and I'm expecting the waterfall will be up to  'kayaking' level again today. 

When we think of ourselves and of nature, we use words that are interchangable with our form. A body of water. The veins in a leaf, the trunk of a tree, the eye of a storm. The more I visit Te Auaunga, the more I have asked her to speak to me in whatever way I can hear.

I asked her to be my friend, to show me secrets, to help me be a partner with the Earth rather than a creature that feels disconnected or as if she does not belong. She does not fail me. I look and look, and as a result I see these little things that feel like treasure. The movement of a baby skink hiding in a clump of rocks, two rabbits, one the colour of charcoal, the other reddish brown. An eel, graceful, sliding in the water in a sideways pattern.

If I were to ask my own body to be my friend, to show me her secrets, to help me be her partner, what would happen? Would I then pay more attention, notice what is needed more readily, and be willing to look and discover all the treasures of my physical body? How would you be a friend to your body?

I'm practicing speaking quite directly to my body (as if it were a beloved animal!) and then not attaching an ideal to how I think the reply will occur. I usually do seem to get pretty clear ideas come to me about what will work though - it might be drinking a lot more water, or having a nap, or maybe inventing more mini-adventures.

One phrase I really liked by Caroline Myss was not to betray yourself. It really resonated as I have sometimes kept quiet about things instead of dealing with them in order not to annoy or upset someone. I think this really affects pain levels in my body and so I'm exploring that this week.

I have found that with some people, being vulnerable doesn't work. They might misunderstand you, even feel attacked if you shared that you felt hurt or angry about something. Sharing that you feel angry or hurt doesn't mean you have a big tantrum, but it does mean that you aren't hiding your feelings in order to 'keep the peace'. You can really only take responsibility for yourself (which is hard to accept at times).  Do not betray yourself in order to please others. It's a hard lesson to learn, one I find challenging. I am usually too honest for my own good, but there have been circumstances in which I have been too afraid to delve into old hurts in case it jeopardizes the friendship. Sadly, this means having a level of fear rule the relationship.

Instead of fear, I am now creating a path of understanding. If someone does not want to walk that path with me, they will show me. It's hard to face the fact that someone you love may not be as open or interested in having an authentic relationship (and I mean any kind of relationship). It's frustrating and often very painful when we are misunderstood. I have even been accused of things I haven't done this week, it's all been rather upsetting and mystifying.
I do think the clue is that if I betray myself, I only encourage others to do the same, and that is not my intention.

My intention is connection, creativity and clarity. What are your intentions for this day, or this week?
I'm going to celebrate the friendships I have with those who can walk the path of understanding and honesty. So let's walk. See you at the waterfall. ;)