26th October 2015: Last week I finally went to the doctor about the terrible pain in my feet, especially my toes. "Oh yes," she said, "arthritis". Arthritis? As she said it, I thought "You have to be fucking joking. I refuse. I refuse to have it."
I had already been tuning in to my body a for a few weeks and knew intuitively that shoes had not been doing me any favours. Since increasing barefoot walks the pain had lessened, but not nearly enough. I've been eating a lot of sugar lately too - heaps of chocolate, biscuits, museli bars and more takeaways in one month than I'd usually have in six. The combination of working a job that requires being on my feet for three or four hours (care giving)and eating food that aggravates my digestion has finally caught up with me!
I'm hoping that the cartilige hasn't worn away completely in my toes, though that was what the doctor said was likely. She offered no clue as to what could be done other than going to a podiatrist. Obviously, being me, I went home and researched the physical and spiritual reasons for having one's limbs seize up. A lot of possibilities and solutions are on offer out there. Some people say to go Paelo - only I know excess meat aggravates me. I'm gluten intolerant but inconsistent. If I really want squishy bread, I have it, and then I'm tired, bloated and irritable.
This Arthritis thing has really woken me up though. I can't afford to keep eating crap or I will not be able to walk properly. I already have very painful hips and have done for years (old injury - fractured pelvis in three place, I don't recommend it). So far, the raw food lifestyle is the one that's come up quite powerfully. I visited sweet Monique today and this old dude was visiting her. He delighted in telling me about overcoming arthritis through eating raw. He said he noticed a difference in how he felt within a few weeks and that his pain was gone within months. He had been diagnosed with severe arthritis when still young - in his 20's. He's now 77 and says "look at this" and proceeds to do a high kick in the air. He can touch his toes. He went to the arctic circle with his wife about a year ago on an incredible trip in -45 degrees! Meeting someone who overcame the pain and restriction is so inspiring!
I don't know that I can restrict myself to the whole 'lifestyle' of being a Raw Food person, but I'm going to increase the amount of fruit and vegetables this week. Next week I'll try going raw for a week and let you know how it's affecting me.
And now, a note on Failure. I 'failed' at something I really wanted to go well over the weekend. I organised a fund raiser and according to the (ever reliable) facebum feedback via the invite issued, I had about 35 people saying they would come and 25 'maybes'. I reckoned that meant about 20 people would come. Not so. Seven people came. Well at least it's a holy number, ha ha! We had a really good time, only later that night I cried as I was so disapointed. When I used to perform poetry years ago it wasn't unusual to draw big crowds. I pondered that. I said "when I was selfish and promoted my performances I got really good crowds, and when I did something for others I didn't!" Mum said "but your performances were never selfish, it was always you giving to the audience, giving of yourself". Well said mum, I'll take it. I woke again in the early hours wanting to blame someone, something, for this 'failure'. I ended up blaming myself mainly. The stories I told myself made me feel alone and very angry. If I heard anyone from Landmark use any of the phrases regularly used I thought I might scream. Fortunately the guy leading the course I'm currently on did not do that. He responded to me with compassion and pointed out that creating something is not a 'failure'. Then today Monique sent the most amazing text: "There are no mistakes. Failure is simply feedback. U had a commitment and gave of yourself. I am very proud of you".
With friends like that, there is no failure.
I had already been tuning in to my body a for a few weeks and knew intuitively that shoes had not been doing me any favours. Since increasing barefoot walks the pain had lessened, but not nearly enough. I've been eating a lot of sugar lately too - heaps of chocolate, biscuits, museli bars and more takeaways in one month than I'd usually have in six. The combination of working a job that requires being on my feet for three or four hours (care giving)and eating food that aggravates my digestion has finally caught up with me!
I'm hoping that the cartilige hasn't worn away completely in my toes, though that was what the doctor said was likely. She offered no clue as to what could be done other than going to a podiatrist. Obviously, being me, I went home and researched the physical and spiritual reasons for having one's limbs seize up. A lot of possibilities and solutions are on offer out there. Some people say to go Paelo - only I know excess meat aggravates me. I'm gluten intolerant but inconsistent. If I really want squishy bread, I have it, and then I'm tired, bloated and irritable.
This Arthritis thing has really woken me up though. I can't afford to keep eating crap or I will not be able to walk properly. I already have very painful hips and have done for years (old injury - fractured pelvis in three place, I don't recommend it). So far, the raw food lifestyle is the one that's come up quite powerfully. I visited sweet Monique today and this old dude was visiting her. He delighted in telling me about overcoming arthritis through eating raw. He said he noticed a difference in how he felt within a few weeks and that his pain was gone within months. He had been diagnosed with severe arthritis when still young - in his 20's. He's now 77 and says "look at this" and proceeds to do a high kick in the air. He can touch his toes. He went to the arctic circle with his wife about a year ago on an incredible trip in -45 degrees! Meeting someone who overcame the pain and restriction is so inspiring!
I don't know that I can restrict myself to the whole 'lifestyle' of being a Raw Food person, but I'm going to increase the amount of fruit and vegetables this week. Next week I'll try going raw for a week and let you know how it's affecting me.
And now, a note on Failure. I 'failed' at something I really wanted to go well over the weekend. I organised a fund raiser and according to the (ever reliable) facebum feedback via the invite issued, I had about 35 people saying they would come and 25 'maybes'. I reckoned that meant about 20 people would come. Not so. Seven people came. Well at least it's a holy number, ha ha! We had a really good time, only later that night I cried as I was so disapointed. When I used to perform poetry years ago it wasn't unusual to draw big crowds. I pondered that. I said "when I was selfish and promoted my performances I got really good crowds, and when I did something for others I didn't!" Mum said "but your performances were never selfish, it was always you giving to the audience, giving of yourself". Well said mum, I'll take it. I woke again in the early hours wanting to blame someone, something, for this 'failure'. I ended up blaming myself mainly. The stories I told myself made me feel alone and very angry. If I heard anyone from Landmark use any of the phrases regularly used I thought I might scream. Fortunately the guy leading the course I'm currently on did not do that. He responded to me with compassion and pointed out that creating something is not a 'failure'. Then today Monique sent the most amazing text: "There are no mistakes. Failure is simply feedback. U had a commitment and gave of yourself. I am very proud of you".
With friends like that, there is no failure.
Comments
Post a Comment