Being Real is Hard, but Better than Being a Dick Head.

I work for the Bird and I love her! I do not mean I am a kinky care giver that has fallen head over heels in romantic love, simply that I adore my employer and she's also my friend. It's the sort of situation where we have the same curiosity about certain things - like 'where does the word 'mojo' come from'? Quick, look it up! What songs do you like? Let's play them now! And yes, I'm still doing what a 'care giver' does, but damn, this is a magic job. I get to be myself and the Bird can handle my incessant chatter because she finds 'white noise' quite soothing, ha ha!!!

I'm definitely getting my magic back. I was feeling pretty damn good over summer, but then I did what I have done for the last five or so years. I fell in love with someone, but they were not offering more than sexy times. I could go into the whole story, but instead I'll say this: I'm really learning to accept my perfectly imperfect self. Even if someone tells me I'm insecure or that I 'should' this or 'should' be that, I'm finding out that this kind of 'telling' is not about me anyway. Of course I'm insecure. So what? Whoop de fucking do!
Right now it's pouring with rain and it sounds so heavy and clean. The cat is curled up next to me and I'm feeling peaceful and centred. It's taken a fair bit of work to get to this place, but it's been worth it. Here's the thing: the person that appears to be the problem is actually the solution. They are the projection, and I don't use the term lightly. Sometimes people throw the word 'projection' around as if it's an insult. It isn't. It's simply a way to recognise what you need to assimilate or own. You have come closer to knowing yourself. Know yourself. Know the world. Love you, and go on, be real. It hurts less than being a dick head! ;)